A Gentle Reminder
Deep rooted habits of consumerism.
One of my main habits when considering the purchasing of something is to look at it multiple times online, sometimes I put it in the cart, sometimes I don’t. Even after I’ve ordered I might continue to look at it. I’m unsure of the purpose of this process, but was clear, is that the purchase process takes up way too much of my headspace. In fact, the idea that there is a process which, for the most part, sees me chasing my tail is evidence that too much of my time and headspace is spent ‘shopping’, even though very few of these things are eventually purchased. The process itself, is to fill time, kill time, convince myself I need something, that I don’t need something, watch how quickly it is or isn’t selling out, and monitor the price for any reductions – even simply leaving something in your cart may prompt a brand to email you with a discount code.
Just this week I received two emails from brands, one with the subject line ‘a quiet reminder’ and the other with the subject line ‘a gentle reminder’, prompting me to revisit carts. This is a new tact from brands, I’m used to seeing ‘Natasha, you forgot something!’ or ‘Natasha, quick! Before it sells out!’ appealing to frenzy that occurs so that I don’t miss out on some coveted thing.
For some of you this process may seem completely foreign, and well, silly. For others, I’ve no doubt that you too engage in some parts, or even all this process. Perhaps you enjoy it, or like me, are sick of it and wish to disentangle yourself from each step. I am fully aware of how this came to be, I’ve done enough reflecting to understand the role that consumption has played in my life. Each even is punctuated with a purchase- a celebration, a commiseration, a concert all marked by a treat. Then there is the lure of something new, justified by the fact that anything and everything may be happening, a party, the beginning of term, a dinner, all an excuse for a hairclip or mascara, or even a new pair of shoes.
I can recount many situations in which I have not intended to buy anything and walked out with everything or got home from shopping and had to plan when I will get back to return what I bought.
Some of these habits have loosened their grip over time, getting older has taught me that you can wear the same things around the same people and nothing terrible will happen. I don’t care about dress codes anywhere near as much and have made peace with the idea that I’m not a ballet flats kind of person. New for a night has also lost its shine.
Over the years I have created a range of rules to temper my relationship with shopping. These have included:
· I will not buy things online without having seen them in person first
· I will not buy things online unless I can buy them in person
· I will not buy things for an event or specific occasion
· I will not buy things the same day I’ve seen them
· I will not buy things on sale that I wouldn’t pay full price for
· I will not buy things I wouldn’t pay off when it comes to the cost per wear
· I will only buy one thing a month
I mean I could go on and on, but all these things did was create a framework which I was constantly trying to navigate, and to be honest, manipulate. I did a no-buy year once and plan on doing it again next year. Much like ‘the diet starts tomorrow mentality’ there is a tendency to stockpile items that you anticipate you may need, even though the whole idea is to manage with what you have – which for most people is more than enough.
Buy Now: The Shopping Conspiracy on Netflix, looks at the current context created by brands that encourages people to purchase. Unsurprisingly, the documentary shared many frightening facts about our consumption habits. One being that Americans buy four time more clothes than they did in 2000. The flip side to this is the increased production and more frequent drops, as well as the marketing of said drops. A report from 2023 stated that on average, a person in Australia buys 56 pieces of clothes a which is a little more than one piece a week, if we were to break that down. You don’t need me to point it out, but I will, that’s insane.
Walking through a shopping centre, I am struck by how many stores just sell bits of crap, licensed, character themed bits of crap. Limited edition, special collaboration bits of crap. This can take the form of keyrings, drink bottles, tchotchkes in blind boxes, seasonal serving platters and body sprays. All produced and marketed in a way that suggests having more than one is reasonable, in fact it’s encouraged. There are also accessories for your accessories, such as this straw pouch which you can put on your overpriced drink bottle. Customisation appears to still be massive increasing the desirability and its perfect-for-me attitudes.
We are aware that marketing prays on our insecurities and that the internet has provided lots of new, convenient ways for us to covet and bring these things into our lives. It has also given us a whole host of new people to compare ourselves to, new ways of selling us products, and new ways to ensure that people see what we have.
I’ve read Sherry Ning’s piece You’re overspending because you lack values a few times. It suggests that overconsumption is a spiritual problem. It’s a confronting read, especially when so much of your identity, is tied up in the consumption of things that make us seem or feel a certain way. Ning writes ‘Stronger values make you spend more mindfully because they shift the axis of desire.’ I’ve done many a values tests to ascertain what mine are yet typing this I can’t remember any except for maybe work and money. Like I said earlier, it’s no mystery to me how I’ve become to be this way.
I won’t end this on some altruistic note suggesting that I am determined to change my ways, even though I am. This change is going to require a lot of work that goes down to the very core of how I spend my time and see myself. No doubt, this is a work in progress that begins with unsubscribing from marketing emails and finding places to occupy me that aren’t shopping centres.